- I will not stand outside a local news studio & wave. I always hate it when the local news studios have a window out to the street as their back drop. People always stand there & wave & giggle. It doesn't matter how old or dignified the person looks. I can just hear the beauty parlor conversation now:
Mark just got his doctorate.
Well, Suzy was just on the teeeeveeee. She just stood there & waved & waved. We recorded it, we're all so proud"
- I will not wear makeup that makes me look like a corpse. Every fashion magazine that I've picked up lately seems to be going for the night of the living dead look. Thanks, but I'll stay with my Gilmore Girls sparkly look, even if it's outdated.
- I won't date anyone who isn't named Luke. So far all of the bad dating experiences have had one thing in common: the boys haven't been named Luke. Since people tell me I'm too picky, the Luke obstacle can be overcome if said person is a real ninja, or owns a coffee shop.
- I will not watch Stuck on You. I love Matt Damon so much that I've sat through "The Legend of Bagger Vance" & "The Talented Mr. Ripley". I won't watch this movie on principle. No way could Matt Damon & Greg Kinnear be conjoined twins.
- I won't realize how confusing anti resolutions are, or stop my use of the double negative.