Saturday, January 05, 2008

The anti resolutions

I would love to make New Years resolutions, but I know that I will be distracted by something shiny before I even finish writing the blog post. So instead, here are some bad habits that I don't have, which I'm still going to avoid in 2008:

  • I will not stand outside a local news studio & wave. I always hate it when the local news studios have a window out to the street as their back drop. People always stand there & wave & giggle. It doesn't matter how old or dignified the person looks. I can just hear the beauty parlor conversation now:
Mark just got his doctorate.
Well, Suzy was just on the teeeeveeee. She just stood there & waved & waved. We recorded it, we're all so proud"
  • I will not wear makeup that makes me look like a corpse. Every fashion magazine that I've picked up lately seems to be going for the night of the living dead look. Thanks, but I'll stay with my Gilmore Girls sparkly look, even if it's outdated.
  • I won't date anyone who isn't named Luke. So far all of the bad dating experiences have had one thing in common: the boys haven't been named Luke. Since people tell me I'm too picky, the Luke obstacle can be overcome if said person is a real ninja, or owns a coffee shop.

  • I will not watch Stuck on You. I love Matt Damon so much that I've sat through "The Legend of Bagger Vance" & "The Talented Mr. Ripley". I won't watch this movie on principle. No way could Matt Damon & Greg Kinnear be conjoined twins.

  • I won't realize how confusing anti resolutions are, or stop my use of the double negative.


ellesappelle said...

Awesome list. They make perfect sense, despite said use of double negatives.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I don't blame you--I wouldn't watch Stuck On You either!

Best of luck with that Luke search--it might just be a tough one, but I'm really rooting for you!

And stay with those sparkles--little kids love 'em! (Maybe potential Lukes are distracted by sparkle too!)

LEstes65 said... may have something there. All of the losers so far? They have NOT been named LUKE!!!! I might join you on that one.

And I love Matt Damon, too. Good choice. Since I'm too old for him, I leave him to you. Please treat him well.

PS - my word verification is "jorczzc". I'm pretty sure my dad made this noise during his first day with pneumonia.

Trish Ryan said...

Yay for sparkly Gilmore Girls makeup. Happy never, ever, ever goes out of style.

You may want to reconsider Stuck On You, though. It's pretty funny.

Travis Erwin said...

But watch out for Luke's father.

Luke ... I am your father.

Barrie said...

Please add more to your list. It's hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I'll be on the look out for cute boys named Luke who may or may not be a ninja and own a coffe shop. Flannel shirts, baseball hats, and daughters named April are optional. :)