Monday, December 29, 2008

Ode to Canada

Dear Canada,

I first started seeing headlines about your government having problems a few weeks ago. I naturally assumed that the news was broken. You are Canada, my strong, friendly neighbor to the North where things always seems wonderful; very very cold, but wonderful. I have been offering to be the princess of your country for years now & I promise to never suspend parliament just because they think I should be fired. (Ok, so I don't have a huge grasp of Canadian politics, but it's not my fault that it's always in the back of the newspaper.) Please see my enclosed resume.

1984-1992 Kicked every boy that I saw & then said "Ha ha you can't kick me back I'm a girl." This demonstrates that I'm not afraid to take a tough line & stand up for what I believe in which is kicking people.

1991-1992 Had a crazy crush on Alex Trebek because I thought he was the smartest man in the entire world.

199something-Present Knows every single Alanis Morissette lyric.

1998: Pasted a picture of an adorable Hockey player in my locker along with his bio that said he was from Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia boy is still a legend to this day.

Skills

  • I know the first two words of the Canadian national anthem.
  • Funnier than Caroline Rhea.

Recommendations

A friend once said that I'm the only person she's ever met that acts like Anne of Green Gables.

10 comments:

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I've gotta admit, I'm even more impressed with you now that I know you've got the gumption to behave like Anne.

Packsaddle said...

In my opinion, anyone who starts a blog post with "Dear Canada" is certainly capable of something special.

You have my vote!

JenKneeBee said...

If I lived in Canada, I would totally want you to come and take over. It's kind of a mess up there.

Allie said...

I would hire you.
I love the Anne of Green Gables recommendation.

supertiff said...

you just made me laugh so hard, i nearly peed my pants.
so, thanks.

Stacy said...

I'm so jealous of your resume!

a little bird said...

hahaha

you haven't gotten the princess of canada position because it's filled - by me.

I am a canuck through and through.

happy 2009 my funny friend!!

Britt said...

Hello! I'm Britt - sent over via a link from Robin at little bird. Thought I'd introduce myself before I creep on your blog!

Come on up to the great white north (except I'm in vancouver and it's more the great rainy north..) - we can use all the princesses we can get!

Barrie said...

As a Canadian, I love this post. And you are so Anne of Green Gables!

lazy Mom said...

I have some friends who are Canadian and boy would find this funny. They are a little differnt those Canadians. I laugh at then (I mean with them) all the time. Keep up the great blog. I just started so I'm learning from those around here.