Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Sarakastic: Rewriting Mottos Since 2009

Sometimes people are surprised that I live in Utah. Sometimes I am surprised that I live in Utah. It's a very conservative state & Sarakastic, not so much. Bottom line, this is where my family lives. Plus, name anywhere else that has both of these:

You know when they show any shot of any street in America & you just see a lot of people in sweat pants wobbling down the road holding big macs? You think ok this is what Americans look like. Not flattering, but fine.

Whenever they show Utah, we see girls with braided hair & bonnets. People think ok that's what people in Utah look like. I'd just like to state that I have never ever worn a skirt over jeans. I've decided that our "Greatest Snow on Earth" "Life Elevated" mottos aren't cutting it. So I did a few rewrites.

Utah: Good Enough for Robert Redford

Utah: 98% polygamist free

We have an NBA team. You just haven't heard of them because they are humble.

Home of awesomeosity.

If your neighbors have been peddling some annoying health drink like Tahatian Noni, we probably made it.

The last bag of Doritos I bought said "Made in Utah" Now I don't know if every state has a Doritos plant, but Doritos are super yummy. Can you really imagine a world without them? I can & it's very, very sad.

Jewel was born here...then promptly left.

What should your state motto be?


Ms. Friday said...

You killed me with this post!

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I have never been to Utah (except for a brief layover), but what I saw from the airport window was stunning. I'll be back someday.

I have to admit my favorite motto was the first one--call me crazy.

Barrie said...

You need to post more often. As in a few times a day. So funny!!!

JenKneeBee said...

Braided hair and bonnets, that's what I looked like when I lived in Utah. Ahem, just kidding...

I tried to think of one for Minnesota, but couldn't off the top of my head. I'll have to think it over.

Stacy said...

This is hysterical. I need to think about Michigan's. I think ours is "Great Lakes, Great Times" or something like that, but I can't seem to come up with anything funny for us, in spite of having plenty to mock in Michigan.

Allie said...

My country's current advertising slogan is "100% Pure". At least it's not as silly as Australia's "So where the bloody hell are ya?" But it is pretty silly. It should be something like, "If you stay away from people, machines or animals, New Zealand is 100% pure", or "100% pure, unless you want to have access to electricity", or maybe "100% pure, from the tourist bus window".
I think it would be much better to have something like "Best place on earth... but we're biased".

LEstes65 said...

Oh I have been gone from blogging TOO long. And this post reminds me of that. I love your state mottos. Texas already has too many and they all sound arrogant. So I'd have something like, "Texas: We aren't ALL arrogant asses."

Thank you for all the Doritos.

Trish Ryan said...

My favorite state motto is Delaware: The Home of Tax-Free Shopping. The founding fathers would be so proud.

My home state of Maine is The Way Life Should Be, and I think they're onto something (except perhaps for the laws permitting you to marry your cousin...)

~Virginia~ said...

this post was reason #572 that i LOVE your blog! :)

i've been wanting to go to utah forever! that's where they filmed Everwood (a now cancelled, but much loved show).

i'm wondering if texas has a motto other than "the lone star"...

heidikins said...

Hahah! I'm so all over #2, 98% polygamist free.

And if you move to Maine you can marry your cousin.

Ahem. Awkward silence.


Halahblue said...

I am subscribing to your blog. You're hilarious. Keep blogging!!

LEstes65 said...

Since reading this, I found that the Texas state motto is simply "Friendship". Which I would never have expected - UNTIL I MOVED HERE. It can be amazingly friendly. Which is a fact that is overshadowed by all of the arrogance of idiots like Toby Keith (who people mistakenly think is from Texas but he's from Oklahoma).

So come on down and check out some of the friendliest people you've ever met. (Please ignore the dolts. The nice people out number them.)