Monday, May 11, 2009

Can't think of a title but the post is good

I'm often introduced as "the girl who says exactly what everyone else is thinking but they don't say." There is usually a connotation there that other people don't say the things that I do for a reason, but at least I'm funny. I think people confuse this "the girl who says whatever she wants." Really, I have all of these sarcastic thoughts & ideas in my head that take that much more effort to not say or do. For instance, if I really did and said what I wanted, I would:

Go to the buffet & fill my plate entirely full of baby corn. I hate buffets because I never feel like I get my money's worth because I try not to over eat or eat a ton of meat. I suspect that the money is really in genetically engineered corn.

Pace behind tourists as they try to take pictures. This way they'll never get a shot. I'd be so persistent that they'd eventually say "Screw it, we'll come back to the Grand Canyon when that girl isn't here."

I love Quiznos. I rarely go there because every time I do I'm afraid that this conversation will happen at very loud volumes:

Me: I'd like the prime rib & peppercorn.

Sandwich Artist: What do you want on that?

Me: I'd like the prime rib & peppercorn.

Sandwich Artist: What do you want on that?

Me: I'd like prime rib & peppercorn and mozzarella & sauteed onions. You know, the things that it says on the menu under Prime Rib & Peppercorn. Why do you guys even have menus? Put some baby corn between some bread and call it a day.

8 comments:

LEstes65 said...

I love you. You and your baby corn.

Trish Ryan said...

Baby corn is the best. Yet another reason why you and I would be great co-rulers of the world. (We can divide it up by hemispheres, and switch in six month increments so neither of us gets too sunburned)

Trish Ryan said...

...and that's the kind of comment I come up with when I haven't had enough caffeine...

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I love how you think of them as 'sandwich artists'. :)

I don't like buffets either--for the same reasons. Well, that, and things are typically picked over and not as hot.

Stacy said...

I've never figured out why buffets are populated with old people. Old people have small appetites and could eat off the kids menu at other restaurants for cheaper.

Miss Chevious said...

LOL at Stacy's comment!

i used to go to a certain buffet restaurant just to get their dinner rolls. everyone else's plate had chicken and sides and dessert. mine had dinner rolls. :)

Barrie said...

I dare you to pace after the tourists and have some take a video of the whole experience! I could not stop laughing at your pacing idea!!

robin said...

ahahaha I somehow missed this post. awesome. i love baby corn, too.