Sunday, October 21, 2012

My Quicksand

I saw this quote on Tumblr about how the things that you think are going to be problems when you grow up never really are, such as quicksand.

Here is my list of things that I thought were going to be much bigger problems than they turned out to be:

1. I was afraid of snake babies crawling up through the toilet which was an idea planted in my head by my brothers.

2. Worried about the ceiling fan coming unhinged and chasing me around the house.

3. I thought the only option for me was to move into an exact life size replica of my dollhouse. It's what grown ups did. I must've seen this in a movie. Seeing as my dollhouse was hot pink and lacked both external walls and a ceiling I think this one worked out for the best.

4. Thought every woman in the world got to walk down a spiral staircase in a floor length evening gown while the rest of the room gazes up at her.

What I didn't worry about but turned out to be a much bigger problem:

5. You got to marry your true love. This wasn't a process that took a long time or any amount of work. For some women they might have thought that they were in love with someone when really they were meant to be with their best friend who was supporting them through the relationship with the wrong guy circa every movie made in the 1980s. However, that's as complicated as it got. Two guys to choose from, that was it. Plus, one was usually inherently evil and the other one was the love of your life so it was a pretty obvious choice. There were never 2 inherently evil guys, or 0 guys, or 20 guys who weren't interesting or interested.

I was right about this one kind of "The first day that I'm grown up I'm going to get a real walkie talkie where the sound is clear and I don't have to put batteries in every 5 seconds, and I can walk for miles and miles without going out of range". My cell phone fits at least part of that.

Also, I've never had to run across a wooden/rope bridge while planks fall off of it or it swings in the air. Ever. What did you think was going to be a huge problem when you were an adult that never really happened?

1 comment:

Allie said...

Wow, this really takes me back! Bizarrely true.

Hmm... I suppose I used to think that if I didn't do something excessively creative and romantic with my life (eg be an author, a singer, a painter) I would have failed, and would be stuck in drudgery forevermore. Or that I needed to know from roughly age eleven what career I would be in (and assuming that I wouldn't change careers).

I definitely thought that it would get easier as you got older to avoid SIN. Yeah, right!!