Friday, April 20, 2007

The Cabinet

There have been several questions about the government of Saradelphia, & this got me thinking, what would my ideal government look like. All of the following people get to wear tiaras, although the tiaras won't be as big & fancy as mine. I will be posting the rules for said vice presidents soon. If you feel left out of the list, I'm sorry, I'm writing this at 2 am in the morning, starburst jellybeans didn't even get a job.

Secretaries of Defense:

The "Powerpuff Girls", Shera & Anne of Green Gables. I actually have never watched "Powerpuff Girls", but a lot of people tell me that I am like them, so I would definitely like people like me on the job. Remember in "Anne of Avonlea" where the old guy goes to hold Anne's hand & she kicks him & he says "I would ask you to be my wife". Ever since then I have thought that kicking a boy will get him to propose to you.

All things PR: This is a tag team of Lynette & Girl Friday because they are both super good at dealing with people. They will share the honor with whoever does the make-up on "Gilmore Girls", because they belong in the cabinet somewhere. They have the difficult task of convincing everyone that I am a princess instead of a tyrannical dictator.

Justice Department:

Harvey Birdman, he's a bird & a lawyer, what's not to like? Bob Saget, because he always had all the answers on "Full House", he is the King Solomon of our day.

Chief of Staff: Virginia, because she is friends with Mickey Mouse & can say things like "Have a tiggerific day", & in general mock the world with me thus creating a huge PR mess for Lynette & Girl Friday to clean up.

Speech Writers: This is probably the most difficult job, so is shared by some of the greatest writers out there: Trish, Stacy, & Ellesappelle. Stacy is also in charge of all matters related to minions, especially if there is an uprising. Their job is to edit out all of my phrases that say things like "Crap for brains", & "Craptastic", & make me sound like a tolerable & nice person.

Vice presidents in charge of scheming.

Running the world takes a lot of scheming, especially to foresee important tasks such as manufacturing enough starburst jellybeans & Cadbury eggs to last all year round, instead of just at Easter time. Brain, from "Pinky & the Brain", for obvious reasons. Hello Kitty because although she is just a giant floating cat head, I've always suspected that she is up to something evil. (For those of you who are wonder, yes that is a Hello Kitty Humidifier. See how scheming that cat is? She's the only person I know who has their own humidifier.).

I'm rather disappointed that Alanis Morrisette & Mary Tyler Moore, didn't make the cut, but we can't all be vice presidents. Who would be in your ideal government?


Stacy said...

I think I've been demoted (and so has Trish). How sad :(

LEstes65 said...

Funny Stacy would write that. I was about to say that I think you picked the PERFECT speech writers. And honestly, I think you pegged my role well. I am a spin doctor. I could make 300 pounds of poo sexy if given the right motivation. A tiara?! YEAH! I don't need a real fancy one. I just want one!!!

ellesappelle said...

Yessss! I'm a speech writer :) Although, of course, in tyrannical dictatorships it's sometimes better not to be included in government because you'll very likely be rooted out as a traitor and shot in a purge after a few years.

Just have to say this: ha! We get Cadbury creme eggs all year round here :)

My ideal government... hmmm. PR would include Colin Firth and Hugh Grant, I think. They'd charm anyone female into thinking I'm a princess. Defense: the latest James Bond, whatsisname, oh yes, Daniel Craig. He is just too sexy and has some great moves and he stands up to torture well. Justice: what? have someone else deal with punishing people? no way. That's my job!

Virginia said...

GAH! I've been shirking my civic responsibilities by being on 'vacation' last week! On behalf of the Mouse, I humbly accept your nomination and look forward to a long and prosperous reign together! Long live Saradelphia! :)

On casual Fridays, we can all wear Mouse ears instead of tiaras! Hee...

Girl Friday said...

Rad! As your PR person I want to give you my vote of confidence. Tyrannical dictators usually have mustaches, so as long as you've got a good waxer, I think you're good to go. That is all.