Sunday, April 29, 2007

Pork Shoes


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We all have conversations stored in the back of our heads to be brought out in social settings like dinner parties, nice little anecdotes where we will still be talking without really saying anything. My goal at most dinner parties is to get people to give me a little space so I have more elbow room to shovel food into my mouth. This is my one & only anecdote. I tried to link to the exact article, but I could no longer find it as this happened years ago & wasn't the most ground breaking court case ever. I wish I was making this up, but it was in several weird news sources at the time. If I get the facts wrong, I apologize, but this is how I tell the story at dinner parties or any other time when I can get people to listen to me.


A patron was kicked out of a bar in England because he wasn't wearing any shoes. He did the logical thing, went outside & tied two slabs of pork to his feet that he had won at a fair during the day (See how much England rocks? They give away pork.) The man walked back into the bar, probably proud of his inventiveness, slipped & fell. He broke his leg, sued the owners of the establishment & won $32,000 in damages, because they didn't have a sign warning against pork shoes". Beware of the pork shoes. What are your dinner party anecdotes?

6 comments:

Trish Ryan said...

And to think, I went to several dinner parties last year without a pork-related story! ;)
That is hysterical on many levels...was he just carrying the pork around with him after the fair? Did he really need the drink that badly? Why, exactly, was he not wearing shoes???

And most importantly, what time of year did this happen? Pork - the other white meat - should never be worn before memorial day or after labor day (and how do they keep track of this in England without our American holidays??)

Stacy said...

Wow, that's disgusting. Makes me wish I had anecdotes that good.

megan said...

i like to tell the story about the guy who insured his cigar and then smoked it, sued for damages, and then was arrested for arson.

Virginia said...

I'm in a weird mood today--as evidenced by the fact that as soon as you said 'pork shoes', my immediate thought was, "Hmm, what other meat/clothing combo could one create?" And then it came to me: a bologna bra.

I need sleep. :)

LEstes65 said...

That's the kind of story that I would normally follow with "...only in America!" Seems I shouldn't be so quick to say that, eh?

ellesappelle said...

Ha! That's a fantastic anecdote!

I'm sorry to say that I blurt out what I think are interesting anecdotes, at parties or when out for coffee, etc etc - and they generally tend to be really, really weird and unappetising. Just the other day, I announced to a group of friends that Angelina Jolie wrote her first bridegroom's name in her own blood on the white t-shirt she wore to the wedding, and that she wore a capsule of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck when she was married to him. As soon as I'd said it I realised how weird (or maybe just inappropriate) I am.