Thursday, June 28, 2007

What the crap?

I used to say "What the crap?" a lot in college. It was my trademark, well that & kicking boys. However, there came a time when I gave into the peer pressure to be more sophisticated. Today I resurrect "What the crap?", with the invention of this:

Her name is little Suzie. She starts off as a baby & grows into a toddler. The doll actually grows 4 inches, depending on how you love & care for her. She even learns how to talk. Barring all that nurturing, you can just press a switch on her back to make her go from an infant to a toddler or vice versa. It comes complete with hair extensions for when the baby is ready for big girl hair.

I can just see it now: "Mommy will Santa bring me the creepy robot doll for Christmas?". I haven't been this scared since furbies, which as far as I can tell, were Satan's dark underlords. I actually don't know what an underlord is, or an overlord.

The Suzie doll is set to mess up an entire generation. Twenty years from now women will be yelling at their kids "Go back to being a baby, where's that blasted switch". Until now, little girls will be dealing with the trauma of wondering why their fake child's growth is stunted or being emotionally scarred when the doll's leg falls off. Creepy robot doll, creeeeeppy.

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12 comments:

JenKneeBee said...

hahaha! this totally beats the wet-your-pants-doll on the creepiness scale.

Virginia said...

There are no words. Oh, wait...got one: ICK. *shudders*

Stacy said...

Creepy! Maybe they should use these in sex ed classes.

Megan said...

oh, that's just SO wrong.

ellesappelle said...

Weeeeeeeeird. I'll be sticking with teddy bears for my nieces' next birthday presents, thanks.

Beth said...

Why would anyone want this? It's very creepy. And, for the record, Furbies scared the crap out of me as well! I am also scared of ventrilliquist dolls. Where are the normal toys that don't remind me of Chucky?

Virginia, like the state! said...

I should have left this comment on your GG website, but alas!

My friend's husband was flying out of Hawaii yesterday (to go back to California) and called her to say that he was standing in the security line behind SCOTT PATTERSON!!!

Standing. Behind. Luke.

He said he was approached by a young fan and he was totally sweet to her. GAH!

I was like, "Did he get a picture? Lint from his shirt? Anything?!" Sadly, nothing...whereas I would have had to be escorted away by security for tackling him to the ground.

I was beside myself! I am totally going to let her hubby have it (as is she).

Trish Ryan said...

Just when you think they can't make dolls any creepier...

This is worse than that Barbie with the pooping dog and the pooper-scooper.

LEstes65 said...

As long as she doesn't hit PUBERTY. You know? Gack!

Desiree said...

Creepy but hilarious too! This doll is news to me... is it weird I am a little curious to see one grow?? ;)

brandy said...

That IS creepy. Man, when I grew up, we had marbles and corn husk dolls that had hips. Just kidding, I played with Barbie. But seriously, the doll actually grows? That gives me the shivers. And not the good kind.

Girl Friday said...

I never really understood why babies are given babies to play with. Weird. This baby is even weirder. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.