Sunday, December 02, 2007

Two, two, two posts in one

Easy Cheese

I was just putting easy cheese on crackers, or as I call it, cooking lunch. All of a sudden I heard this huge popping noise like a gun shot, my first reaction was reminiscent of A Christmas Story "In that moment, I knew that I had shot my eye out". My relief that I could still see was dampened by the realization that all of the cheese was gone.

End of easy cheese backfiring story.

The Dating Anthropology Story

I've been dating for 9.5 years. I'm just going to say that's a decade because it sounds a lot more impressive. I've been dating for almost a decade. I'm not good at it, I don't enjoy it. When I started dating, FRIENDS was at it's height, Iris by Goo Goo Dolls was the only song on the radio, & we hadn't even started freaking out about Y2K yet.

I was just watching the first season of "The Real World" & was struck by how different it is now. It seemed like the 90's were characterized by "I feel this because...". Now on The Real World, they just throw bottles at each other. In the 90's everyone needed a creative outlet: poetry magnets, rapping, rollerbladding. Whatever that thing was deeply intense, no matter how it seemed to anyone else & it could be defended by "It's how I feel". I'll admit that I often made fun of Mr. Sensitive, at times I wanted to kick them in the shin. At times I might have kicked him the shin. It's not that I want to date this kind of guy, it's just I've noticed that they are basically extinct now.

It seemed that in the early 2000's Mr. Sensitive went out of style. Now it was all about being a P* (I'm not using that word because I don't want traffic from that keyword, ends in imp). It became ok to use women as objects again, another number in a cell phone, then another picture on myspace. Even as I type this I know that is a sweeping generalization. There are still good guys out there. There are still people who burn cd's & write poetry for their girlfriends. I never would've gotten away with that generalization in the 90's, I would've had to have a three hour talk about feelings.

Now dating consists of basically tuning out while sitting next to someone, playing Guitar Hero is not a date. Watching 24 is not a date. It seems like the only time that feelings are expressed is if they are being used as an excuse. Asking someone out on their voicemail is unacceptable. If I wanted to talk to you, I would've answered. Now, instead I have to call & break a date that I never agreed to.

Is it me? Am I fantasizing the 90's as a time when we tried to find soul mates instead of just adding another person to the myspace harem? Was it because of all of the tmi in the 90's that we just tuned out? Is it because I'm older now so men are more focused on careers & have less time for emotion? Am I just hanging out with the wrong people? Aren't I much too young to even be writing something like this? It's not that I want the 90's back, I'm just saying it's different now. The only thing that isn't different is that I'm still dating.

End of Dating Anthropology


~Virginia~ said...

Glad to hear you still have 2 good eyes! :)

Times have definitely changed. I too yearn for the 90s...weren't things so much simpler back then? Sigh. There is a definite change in men's behavior...boys are weird.

ellesappelle said...

What do you know - apparently there are bright sides to not really ever dating anybody :)

Trish Ryan said...

I think you're on to something with the 90s and's as if dating became so emotionally grueling that the guys all checked out and the girls bought into the idea that showing our thong underwear in the office was the solution. It almost makes arranged marriage seem wise and civilized again :)

LEstes65 said...

Cheeze popping story made me laugh.

Dating...gack. I will soon be back in that world. I am not remembering the 90s the same as you. However, it's probably because I was in my 20s and totally debauched. 1991 is when I met Mr. Sensative...the "Champion of Women" as we thought of him. Mr. Sensative Champion of Women sucks giant donkey...well, I won't get you traffic from THAT word, either.

Not having met your crowd, I can't answer your rhetorical questions. But I can tell you, I hang with people who have awesome men. So I know they exist. When I'm not a head case over my divorce any more, I have no doubt I will shake one out of a tree somewhere. Or more aptly, GOD will drop him out of a tree for me when he thinks I'm ready.

I don't know your beliefs, but after my last 16 yr stint with Mr. Sensative Champion of Women? I'm asking God to direct me to the next one. I obviously haven't been doing such a bang up job.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I have never really dated. I met my husband in high school after only going to a couple of school dances with other guys. I had no idea how it was out there, but from your portrayal, it seems kind of grim. And I agree--24 and voicemail just dont' cut it.

I wish you luck in finding one of the good guys!