Monday, December 10, 2007

Dear Santa


Dear Santa,

It's been awhile since I last wrote. I believe my last request was for a cabbage patch doll which never materialized, but I'll forgive you if you grant this one request. When the robotic vacuum first came out, I looked the other way & still hauled the twenty year old vacuum up the stairs. It seems that I have what wikipedia calls Frankenstein Complex named from an Isaac Asimov novel. I was hoping for a more scientific name than that. I should just come out & say it. My name is Sarakastic, & I'm afraid of robots. Yes, I watched the tv show Small Wonder when I was a kid. I understand that robots are people too. I'm not really afraid of androids. Really, the only thing I'm afraid of are robotic lawn mowers.

Now, I'm not picking on any one brand of robotic lawn mower, there seem to be quite a few. I guess they have a special safety detection device where the mower automatically shuts off if it is lifted up to protect Saras, kids, & pets. Did we learn nothing from I, Robot, Terminator & so many other cautionary tales? Eventually machines develop human characteristics & then they go after their owners. Ok, so it's been a long time since I've seen Terminator. If there is any robot that chooses to gain human characteristics & then come after me, I'd rather it not be a robotic lawnmower. There's no way to fight back if it goes all evil. So Santa, for Christmas, I do not want a potentially possessed lawnmower. If you could also keep potentially possessed lawnmowers away from my family & friends I'd also appreciate it. Thank You.

Love,
Kastic

9 comments:

Stacy said...

You are so funny! That's the best letter to Santa I've ever seen.

Casey said...

lol, I can just imagine what would happen if that was actually sent through the mail... That would be one very confused postal worker! :) That is possibly the most amazing letter to Santa I've ever read...

~Virginia~ said...

And let us not forget the biggest-waste-of-time-and-money: AI. I hated that movie! People with robot parts or robots that wanted to be human or show human emotion or some crazy mess like that. Eek!

Great letter! I give it 2 eggnogs up!

Trish Ryan said...

I think you're wise. Santa feels the same, I hear, which is why there are no robots north of Canada.

ellesappelle said...

I SO AGREE!!! What insane sort of person would buy a robotic lawn mower or anything robotic that is capable of injuring someone?

LEstes65 said...

You are too funny. And I share your aversion to automated implements of death. Silly us, eh?

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I think I'd actually like to have a Roomba...and risk the dangers of it coming to life. I just don't like to sweep.

JenKneeBee said...

robotic lawnmowers can definately lead to no good!

Megan said...

ha! i got a robotic vacuum for christmas a couple of years ago. least romantic present ever. at least, though, it was uncapable of causing injury. although my cats weren't so convinced.