Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I'm probably going to hell...

Sadly, I can't remember if I've used that title before. I'm a Christian. I also don't go into Christian book stores. There are lots of such book stores in Utah. Up until now we have peaceably coexisted by just staying away from each other. Until they sent a catalog to my house. Then the screaming started. I opened it up & what do I see? A photograph of Jesus. A $200 framed PHOTOGRAPH of Jesus. Paintings, illustrations I've seen before. Fine. You think Jesus was blond? Fine.

Never before have I seen a photograph of Jesus. Really it was quite disturbing. Especially considering the fact that a local university is so conservative that they don't allow male students to have long hair or beards. Apparently though it's ok if you are dressed up like Jesus. Can you imagine how awkward that casting call must have been? I'm now tempted to go on every blind date that is offered just in hopes that I will inadverently be set up with that guy so I can say "Hey, aren't you that guy in the photograph?"

Now that I think about it $200 is a fair price if it's a genuine photograph, but a fake one? This is just a warning to all of my friends, if I ever walk into your apartment or home or place of work & see that I will leave, & probably never talk to you again. This is exactly why I'm so angsty all the time.

12 comments:

Britt said...

That's hillarious. Can't say I've ever seen a photograph of Jesus :)

heidikins said...

Hahahahahaha!!!

This is awesome.

xox

JenKneeBee said...

Oh my gosh! Do you ever listen to or watch This American Life? One of their shows from the first tv season was about a photographer in SLC who recreates Jesus scenes. I wonder if it's the same guy, I mean, it has to be right? He said that he spent all his time trying to meet non-mormons with facial hair to be his models. I think it'd be creepy to have a photo of a fake Jesus.

Barrie said...

Do you think JenKneeBee is right? How weird is all this?! I wonder what other photographs will be popping. Mary? Martha? It could be any of them!

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I would LOVE to see that photograph. And I would love to meet the photographee in person. Imagine having that shot in your portfolio.

Alyssa Goodnight said...
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Allie said...

Oh NO. How gullible can some people possibly be?

rubytuesdays said...

And after this date you can tell people "So I had dinner with Jesus the other night...."

Kaitlin said...

Rubytuesdays: haha that made me laugh.

LEstes65 said...

I'm speechless.

gabe said...

It's sad. Really sad. I'd like to see some photographs of heaven. To keep me motivated. :) Great post.

~Virginia~ said...

i hereby solemnly swear to never buy the scary jesus picture! :)