Tuesday, March 17, 2009

If I ruled the world...

  • Skin care companies wouldn't be allowed to have commercials with 47 year old models that say "How old do I look?" unless that person is really 423. That's the age I always guess when they ask.
  • Every studio audience would be prescreened to remove that one person with the loud laugh. You know, the woman who laughs when something isn't funny or when a joke is coming up so it ruins the punch line.
  • Under no circumstances would I know that my congressman had pizza for lunch. (On February 25th) I'm all for being involved in the democratic process but politicians who twitter just worry me. Granted, he did say awesome yesterday but still...
  • Whenever the subprime mortgage crisis is mentioned, a picture of prime rib must flash across the screen. Sales of prime rib will go up, the economy will be stimulated, problem solved.
  • Celebrities wouldn't treat mugshots as glamor shots. You're going to jail people you are supposed to look sad.
  • Tweezers would come equipped with built in sensors that beep & then completely shut down while screeching "Don't tweeze angry. Don't tweeze angry. Don't let your hatred of that Madoff guy leave you looking surprised for the next three weeks."
How would the world be different if you ruled it?

7 comments:

Allie said...

If I ruled the world, we would all hold hands and learn to sing in perfect harmony. :) All I could think of.

JenKneeBee said...

Haha! I don't think I've ever tweezed angry, but I'll be sure to remember not to. If I ruled the world, Pushing Daisies wouldn't have been canceled. It's true, I'm still bitter.

Barrie said...

I need to think about this! I want to be creative, but nothing is coming to mind. HOWEVER, I did nominate you for an award. :)

LEstes65 said...

In my world, the skin care commercials wouldn't be allowed to have girls under 35 talking about how to solve their WRINKLE problems. Honey, when your boobs are sagging down around your knees? THEN I'll believe you might have a wrinkle or two.

And if I ruled the world, I'd turn rule over to Princess Sarakastic. And then just be her right-hand chick.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

If I ruled the world, smoking would be outlawed, as would tiny tops on not so tiny women (and men).

Stacy said...

*The Amsterdam airport would sell breakfast at 4 or 5 AM rather than the stale doughnuts and beer it sells it at that horrific hour. (Major pet peeve of mine last week! What time zone can you be coming from that beer sounds good at 5 AM?!)

*Feminine hygiene products would be much, much cheaper. It cannot cost much to produce a tampon. Honestly.

~Virginia~ said...

i'll just live in your world--it'd be way cooler than anything i could conjure up. :)