I just moved into my very first grown up apartment, no roommates. One of the perks is that I don't have to have this silent argument in my head every week. I have had this conversation with pretty much every one of the thirty roommates I've lived with....most of them several times.
Me: Where did my butter go?
Roommate: Oh, I used it, just take some of my butter.
Me: That is not butter. That is margarine. It tastes like chemical sweat. I pay three times as much for butter because it is yummy.
Roommate: It's exactly the same but I'll buy you some more.
Me: There's four boxes of margarine in the fridge, why didn't you just use one of those?
Roommate: Yours tastes better.
Roommate: I bought you some butter.
Me: This is margarine.
Then I go and buy actual butter which people use before I ever get to it while they shove crates of margarine in the back of the fridge. Even so, I miss all of the stuff that roommates have around them. Here is a tally of everything I own:
4 knives, 3 spoons, 0 forks, eating a salad is interesting
0 sofas. 0 ways to get sofas. 0 ways to afford sofas. 0 sofas that I find comfortable. 0 sofas that can make it up the staircase.
1 uncomfortable free standing hammock that I bought to replace the sofa. Awesome idea that I still stand behind but I own the only hammock in the world that is actually painful to use.
4 throw pillows to go on a sofa that I do not now or will I ever possess.
0 roommates to steal my boyfriend, if I had a boyfriend, which I don't. If I did, I'm the only person in this apartment who can steal him.