No really there isn't. This is a sampling of what I've thought in the last 5 minutes:
Life advice: Treat everyone like they were hotter than you.
First time I've wanted to be a vandal: Hiking and seeing the dozens of people who carve their initials in rocks. It makes me want to add "..was an idiot" "..is a vandal" "...is gone now thank heavens"
Looked at an ad on craigslist for a person who is selling a tiny cd case drawer thing. They bought it for $30 and are selling it for $10. They desperately need it gone. Desperately is a funny word to use in such an ad. I'm thinking it's haunted.