Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Unrelated Sarcastic Thoughts

I do not know if I will ever have children but I do know this. If I do ever have kids they will not be going through the "Your Baby can Read" system. I don't care if it's good for them, reading babies is just creepy. That informational gives me more nightmares then all horror movies combined.

I was once at an all you can eat buffet when an older gentleman approached me and announced that I was eating food that could kill me. I was like "Duh, I'm at an all you can eat buffet." He then went on to say that I was eating the most dangerous food in the world that his doctor had said had caused his need for triple bypass surgery. I said "Duh, it's fried shrimp." No, no it was not the fried shrimp but the few seemingly harmless coconut flakes that had been fried into the shrimp. According to AOL Health:

Ounce for ounce, coconut oil delivers more saturated fat than butter, lard, or margarine.

I always thought that a coconut was a fruit or something good for you because it comes from nature. Now I know that nature wants me dead.

This was probably my favorite conversation last week. I was talking with a friend about deer hunting and how the kids in Utah get a day off from school for it but they say it's for an autumn festival or something. Back when I was a kid on our school calenders it was just marked "Deer Hunt". This started a debate about whether or not bow hunting or gun hunting was more humane. (I voted for no hunting.) I was fascinated to learn all about the different permits and tags required for each and that you had to get special tags to hunt in certain areas in this weird lottery. My immediate response was "What kind of tags do Ninjas have to get?"


heidikins said...

Now...were they African coconuts or Asian coconuts? Or Pacific Islander coconuts? Because I'm sure that makes a difference.

Also--as far as random facts go, if you measure by the gallons, one of the most expensive every-day liquids is contact solution, followed closely by printer ink.

(I know--that hardly relates--but whatever)

I remember getting three days off for the deer hunt...clearly, I attended school in a teensy, tinsy hick town. ;o)


Jennie said...

Do pina colodas have coconut oil in them? Cause I'm pretty sure life is not worth living with out one once in a while.

I wish they had given us time off from school while I was at the UofU. They should make that a state holiday or something, thereby announcing to the rest of the US that Utah is full of hicks who are proud of it :)

Barrie said...

Luckily, I'm not a big fan of coconut. I'm assuming licorice is healthy because it's fat free.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

Ninja-style hand to hoof combat would be much more fair and balanced, but I too have to vote for no hunting...

littlebird said...

reading babies reading babies reading babies : now i am 100% creeped out.

and wanting a ninja tag.

and while wearing that ninja tag wanting to sink my teeth into some friend shrimp.


Miss Chevious said...

i agree--those infomercials are 24 different kinds of stupid.

and your deer hunting story reminded me of a conversation i had with one of my 3rd graders on our 1st day back. i asked what she got for christmas and she said "a big blow-up deer". when i naively asked what it was for, she replied, "you shoot it." i snorted my morning coffee up my nose. :)

LEstes65 said...

A friend of mine (a father of 3) once commented on all the attempts to create little baby/toddler geniuses. And how all of those competitive parenting types thing their kid is going to be the saviour of the world and cure cancer. He said something to the effect of - If every kid is a freakin' genius, where the hell do they all GO?!

True genius isn't created. It will shine whether it starts in a dingy tenement or with a silver spoon. All the rest level out as they get older.

Reading babies is creepy. And a sign of the intellectual version of a pageant mom.

Just sayin'.