Calling Encyclopedia Brown

Encyclopedia Brown was a favorite of mine growing up. I don't know why because I never once solved a case...ever. I was much better at "Choose Your Own Adventure" and even then an alien usually shot me with his laser eyes by the third round. So I present to you the case of the shirts, also not solved by me.

Awhile ago I started noticing holes in my shirts. I checked the dryer and couldn't see any real reason for it. I made a resolution to start using the "delicate" cycle. However, it just seemed to get worse.

Then I briefly considered that it was "cooties" one more reason to hate boys. I was also considering burning everything I own. I'm a princess and this doesn't happen to princesses even though realistically back in the day it probably did, but NOT TO ME. However, it was only on shirts, never on dresses or pants, and ALWAYS my favorite shirts. It was always my "staying home" shirts and never my "going out shirts". Plus it was always in the front in the middle near the bottom. I kept wondering how cooties or the washer always knew which ones were my favorite and where the front of the shirt was. My solution was "super cooties, possibly robots".

There's a pattern here that I just couldn't get. I don't have a cat or long fingernails. Anyone know the solution yet? It's ok I didn't and I am with me a lot. My mom must be some kinda super sleuth. She pointed out today that I need to check the bottom of my laptop desk. Sure enough, for whatever reason there are two sharp screws in the bottom that I've never noticed. I can only assume that the designer has my sarcastic personality. Just to check I made another hole in my shirt with one because I was super excited to not have cooties, sure enough fits all the criteria. Goodbye 12 shirts. Yes, I did this 12 times without solving it. I wonder if Encyclopedia Brown is all grown up and if I can marry him.