Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Go Eat Makeup


Because I can’t tell their mothers; I'm choosing to tell the internet. Keep in mind this all happened today, on the same 20 mile stretch of road.

I was blissfully in the middle of town with two lanes of traffic but we were going along pretty fast; at least 45. Then the car in front of me threw a can out his driver's side window; into traffic; not to the curb. The cars behind me stopped quickly enough that I was also able to stop; while trying not to duck knowing it wouldn't help my car to do so. The buggy and I are both safe.

Now because I live in a delightful and peaceful small town my insults and comebacks aren't what they used to be. All I could think of to say was "I'm a pacifist I can't do crap"; as well as "That person needs a Zen garden. It would really help lower their blood pressure too".

Incident #2: I was going four miles over the speed limit like I always do because someone told me once that a cop pulls you over at five miles over not four. Doubt this is true but I've never been pulled over. A big truck came up behind me out of nowhere easily going 25-30 over. I was close to a car in front of me going exactly the speed limit so I slowed down; slightly relieved that it wasn't my fault that this mad man couldn't go so fast. We continued on this way for exactly a block. The car in front of me pulled over at the next available spot to let us pass even though they were going the speed limit.

I continued going the speed limit and waved my hand politely since I know the road well and know that this is the guy's one chance to pass so he can go super fast. He flipped me off as he passed. Then he pulled over onto the side of the road to kick up dirt for the next block, like it was so dusty I couldn’t see and didn't know if I was about to get in a rumble...FOR GOING THE SPEED LIMIT. He turned off the road, well the side of the road, a block later. He could've sat there politely and obeyed the law for one block, but why do that?

To you sir, I say what I saw on an e-card a few weeks ago "You should go eat makeup so you'll be pretty on the inside".


Stacy said...

In Michigan, you go 9 miles above the speed limit because the cops don't pull you over until you're 10+ miles over.

Pretty much anyone who drives a truck or oversized SUV should eat makeup. There is the occasional person who drives a big vehicle for practical reasons (large family, frequent need to haul large objects), but most just like to lord it over everyone else on the road.

Barrie said...

I love this makeup comment!!! I'm struggling with my ms this evening and popped over to your blog for a laugh. thank you!