Thursday, December 28, 2006

Why I deserve Canada

If you haven't heard, I recently won "Times Person of the Year". "Times" has ignored me way too long, it was nice to finally be recognized. However, I want to know, where is my stuff? I've been waiting for my framed copy to arrive in the mail, but nothing. This is a very prestigious award. First you just put a picture of a computer for my cover photo. Would you do that to Bono? Now I keep waiting & waiting. You are probably hoping I will forget, but I haven't. I won, & I deserve some acknowledgment. Here are some prizes that will suffice.

1. A bowling trophy. A really large trophy. Something to set out on the mantle to show people that I'm better than them & can be used as a weapon in a pinch.
2. Canada. I deserve my own country. I am the person of the year, if Canada won't work, Manitoba will suffice.
3. I need something named after me, a sandwich, or a state. Maybe North Dakota.
4. Swag. I don't know what swag is, but celebrities seem to get it a lot, if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me.
5. A life-size statue built in my hometown next to the museum of Sara.

Something, I would like some scrap of acknowledgement.


Stacy said...

You completely deserve your own country. Can I move to Canada once you rightfully claim it?

Trish Ryan said...

Congratulations! If you have a big party, please invite me!!! I need an excuse to wear eye shadow and a fancy dress :)

ukrainiandiva said...

Clicked the link to your blog on Stacy's. I must say, this entry made me laugh out loud. I hope you get your bowling trophy, and I hope it's very shiny.

Anonymous said...

When you're given Canada make sure to insist on a lifetime supply of mittens, poutine and minions who shovel snow for you. This is crucial!