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I've owned very few t-shirts in my time, for reasons that will be explained below. I just don't know what I want the world to think of me. There are lots of awesome shirts with flapper girls on them, but what does that say about me? Here is another girl to look at who is probably prettier than I am? I was in the mall one day & there was the perfect t-shirt, it looked a little something like this.

Upon closer inspection, I decided that I could not wear this. I had very short hair at the time, & was afraid to wear baggy t-shirts in fears I would be mistaken for a boy. Plus, it was a green that was previously only see in slime on the Nickelodeon channel. Add to that the fact I'm always afraid of offending the elderly. What if I meet the next Mother Teresa & my shirt tells her to go away? I don't want her to go away, I would like to talk with her. Besides, I believe in the element of surprise. I sometimes wear pink & look really sweet & feminine. This gives me the upper hand when I turn out to be me, they never see it coming.

A good shirt for femininity is the tiara shirt. I love a good tiara as much as anybody. In fact, I probably love tiaras more than the average person. I occasionally wear a tiara to the grocery store, or when I'm catching up on housework. The problem with tiara shirts is the word Princess. Now, I am actually a princess, my name means princess. I just don't like to be called that by strangers, it's so condescending & leaves me thinking, you have no idea who I am. My remedy to this would be a nice tiara, that way when people are looking at that, they will miss the offensive sayings. ("Go Die" is from Gilmore Girls. I only use the phrase with my close friends because I'm a giver like that.)

Again, with the "Go Die" tiara t-shirt, I am stuck with the question of just how rude do I want to be to people? I actually don't want to be rude, to me it is funny, but it is a fair assessment to say that most people aren't like me. My sense of humor is very unique, often only found funny by me. That leaves me with the scrolly shirt. I have always wanted a nice faded t-shirt with scrolls on it. They are everywhere. However, they always have roses in the scrolls. Or guns. Now, I like fake fighting as much as anybody, but again, not the impression I want to leave with people. Or they have a band name on the front. I like music, but none of the bands really speak to me. I like the band, but I don't love them. So, my ideal shirt would have waffles in the scrolls. I like waffles, waffles aren't offensive. I think a lot of people like waffles. If there are any t-shirt designers out there reading this, I give you full permission to use the waffle idea, the world needs it.

Tags: humor, sarcastic, random-thoughts, design, fashion