It's not that I don't like them. In fact, I'm like that overeager kid who just wants the cool kids to like them back. I admire their sense of humor that borders on cold, their food that borders on disgusting, & their fashion that doesn't match. However, every single person I've met from England, either online or in real life hates me. I'm starting to think that is has more than a little to do with my humor being lost in translation. Here is why I think all of England hates me:
1. I make sweeping generalizations about their food, fashion, & sense of humor.
2. I constantly say, "It was shame all of ya'll couldn't hold onto Canada, guess you just didn't have what it takes, thing we'll be different on my watch, yessirree"
3. I bring up the Revolutionary War....a lot. I say, if you've got it, flaunt it & we have a huge victory over them.
4. My sweeping generalization of English people is that they are very subtle. That's why I don't understand British sitcoms & always wonder why they are laughing. It's a highly evolved sense of humor. I am many things, but subtle is not one of them. One of the reasons for the conflict could be me yelling "It's not funny, why are you laughing?"
5. I make fun of the Queen. Well basically all of the royal family. They are the only people I know with tiaras that are cooler than mine.
6. Promise a list of 7 things & only deliver 6.