Friday, March 16, 2007

Formulaic

It's seems that TV is quite often formulaic. What do you know, formulaic is actually a word. The spell checker isn't giving me a problem with it. I can make up words that are actually words & then take all the credit for them. So, I got this idea to start making recipe cards of TV shows that I love, but where every episode is pretty much the same. I love the1980 s-1990's mysteries. Back in the day before complicated DNA & gross close up's of corpses were the solutions to every mystery show on tv. Here is how to write your very own episode of "Murder She Wrote".


Murder She Wrote Episode

Ingredients:

A Ton of people who don' t seem to notice that someone dies wherever Angela Lansbury goes. If I was her relative/friend/daughter of old college roommate, I would say, sure JB Fletcher I would love for you to come visit. I just don't have the time to be wrongly accused of murder right now. I know you will eventually solve
everything, but work is crazy this week


1 Wrongly accused relative/friend/daughter of old college roommate


1 Angela Lansbury

3 seemingly unconnected clues


3 slow moving camera angles to zoom in on said clues, giving the amateur detective at home enough time to solve that the real killer was allergic to
cilantro.


1 Police Chief who constantly mentions that JB Fletcher is just an
amateur & asks her to stay out of the way.


Mix ingredients together until unpredictable solution floats to the top.
Stir well.


A pinch of doubting Police Chief then taping the confession, & stepping
out of the shadows to save Angela from the murderer's hands even though
he/she has been completley uncooperative up until this point, he/she will
always hide behind a door.


Finish by adding a smiling witticism by Angela Lansburry that makes everything all better. Never mind that someone just died, we now know how & why, so the wrongly accused can now happily go on with their life. For extra garnish, make the wrongly accused benefit in some odd way, like find true love.

7 comments:

ellesappelle said...

Ha! That sounds exactly like an Agatha Christie detective story too. Not that I'm complaining. Isn't it weird how we can't get enough of the same old story?

LEstes65 said...

There are times when the formulaic can be rather comforting. I think of these shows as the equivalent of comfort food. It's easy, familiar and doesn't take a lot of effort. And it beats the hell out of those really odd non-sequitor one-liners that David Caruso utters.

Virginia said...

Love the recipe! :) Of course, to me, Angela Lansbury will always be Mrs. Potts from Beauty & the Beast!

Megan said...

HA! that's hilarious! one of my pals talks about your blog, and she's right, you are very funny.

Stacy said...

A few months ago, my entire office had this long discussion about Murder She Wrote over someone's b-day cake. More or less, about how people should know that being Angela Lansbury's friend would get you either murdered or suspected of murder or guilty of murder. (We didn't analyze the formula though.)

Girl Friday said...

When I was 11 I broke my arm during the summer and couldn't do any of the fun things like go swimming or roller skate. I was able, however, to watch endless amounts of Murder, She Wrote. I have since had an aversion to ventriloquists and mannequins.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I used to LOVE Murder, She Wrote, and this recipe sounds just about perfect.

Good point about old mystery shows vs. new. I do not like see those corpse close-ups, but worse still is how they follow the path of a bullet into human flesh and overlay those gross squishy sounds.