Friday, March 02, 2007

Taxes made fun

Running an empire can be expensive, even if that empire is just in my head. Orange pants don't buy themselves. Luckily, empires come with taxes. The taxes in Sarakasticland...Sarkasticville...what is that place called? Must work on a better name, although I do like Orange Minotar or "please don't read the lampshade". Anyways, our taxes in please "don't read the lampshade" are as follows:

The Stupid Tax: This is the price that stupid people pay me for having to deal with them. For instance, if you leave your CD's at my apartment, & then you are a jerk to my roommate & make her cry, I probably won't be able to find your CD's when you come over. I definitely won't call you up & ask you if you want your CD's back. If you are my roommate & you don't help out around the house, I will eat the cookies you leave on the counter. It's the price I exact as the maid. Any protestations over the name stupid tax will increase in a higher rate of taxation.

The Bathroom Tax: This tax was instituted in a family of 10 with one bathroom. Granted, we usually weren't all at home at the same time, but still 5 adults & one bathroom makes things tricky. People understandably, are very protective about their bathroom time. I will declare the bathroom the domain of "Please don't read the lampshade" & institute a ten dollar toll for all those who enter.

Who said taxes aren't fun? Check out Stacy's post about taxes as well. Any suggestions for the naming of my empire would really be appreciated.

6 comments:

LEstes65 said...

Well, having just read a ton of Roman empire history (and, therefore, lots of Roman leaders' names), I'm voting for the empirious sounding "Sarkasticus". It's very Monty Python-esque. Well, it is to me, anyway.

And I have to say, you once again made me laugh out loud when I read "Orange pants don't buy themselves." Love it!

I love the Stupid Tax. I have instituted this for quite a while without knowing it. And that jerk doesn't deserve to get his/her CDs back unless he/she does so by purchasing them from you via eBay.

Bathroom Tax - love it. I was the youngest of six. We were fortunate to have 2 bathrooms to share. But the one sister that thought spending 4 hrs donning makeup and burning her hair with a curling iron should have gotten a double tax.

I think I may institute a Whining Tax. And not just for my kids. I'll probably make more money off my coworkers than my 3 & 6 yr olds!

JenKneeBee said...

The Moving Tax: If you have broken half of my favorite dish set, I might feel the need to take one of your mixing bowls with me to Colorado...

Stacy said...

I wish I'd known about the stupid tax while I waited tables. I would've been rich.

Virginia said...

Try a variation of a state or city name like Saradelphia or Sarabama! :) Hee! Sorry, but it works in my world...whenever I have to give my name (i.e. over the phone for take-out), I always say, "Virginia...like the state".

Pink Lace and Pearls said...

That's funny! I have a rule that if you leave something at my house for more than a week and you forget about it, it becomes mine. I have obtained severals DVDs, CDs, etc. using this method.

Sundance said...

The Great Revolutionary Republic of Sarakastic or GRRS for short. The sound effect kind of works, don't you think?