Friday, May 18, 2007

Why Billy Blanks is the Devil

Sure the instructor of Tae bo might seem like a nice guy. I assure you he's not.

  • The phrase, "Just one more". By one, he means 11.
  • During any difficult moves he stops demonstrating & walks around the room. He also kicks very low & says he is doing it to not intimidate the beginners, mhhm Billy suuuurree.
  • Roundhouse kicks.
  • The fact that he tries to topple over the beginners in the back of the class to demonstrate that they aren't "centered".
  • "Flex your brain, then your heart, then your will". I'm not a Doctor but I'm pretty sure if you flex your brain you will die.
  • The fact that he goes by his right & left instead of the viewer's right & left & I now can't remember which hand I write with.
  • The touting of tae bo as defense. Ahhh it's an attacker one two clap clap clap. The clapping is the most deadly part.
I guess if I could just run around a room & knock people down, I probably would. That is all.