Dear Keebler elves,
I usually go for frosted animal crackers in my cookie purchases. Today I decided that I was 25 & it was time to stop making food purchases based on the fact that they were pink. I looked through the cookie aisle in search of a new obsession. You have the commercials with the happy elves running around. Plus, you even have cookies in the shape of elves which means that I can ponder things like, "The only good man is a cookie".
Then my eyes fell upon the new keebler cheesecake cookie. It looked quite healthy surrounded by all of the chocolate wafers. I was proud of my new grown up healthy cookie shopping eye. I looked at the label. Now, I'm used to you & your industry calling a bite sized candy bar "fun" when it is anything but. A "fun" candy bar would be the size of Montreal. Or the trick of saying that a serving size is three cookies when an average person will eat nine.
Then you took it to a whole new level with your evilness. A serving size is not one small cookie. You made me do math in the grocery store as I figured out that I could eat 3 cheesecakes or a package of your cookies. I indignantly put your cookies back on the shelf because I hate math. I then went to the bakery where one cookie is as big as the tire on my car & they don't have nutritional information on their food items, which is exactly why I go there. Please stop your evil elf misleading cookie information ways.