Monday, May 26, 2008

What not to buy for Father's Day

I was flipping through a catalog which I will only refer to as "Expensive crap that no one needs but is so excessive it's the reason that everyone else hates America: Father's Day Edition". There I found the most atrocious Father's Day Gift. It's a coaster that you plug into your usb port & it keeps your drink cool. (They call it a drink chiller, but it's a coaster)

At first it didn't stand out amongst all the other useless expensive crap. Then I thought, ok "It's a COASTER with a USB PORT that you PLUG into your COMPUTER" I wish this company sent out little cards with every purchase. I would love to write for them.

"Dad, you taught me how to ride a bike. You were always there when I needed you. In honor of that here is an expensive piece of crap that will either get you electrocuted or ruin your electronics when you spill something because you can't be trusted to use an ice cube. Happy Father's Day"

9 comments:

LEstes65 said...

I would buy ANY catalog for which you wrote. I think you should just put out a catalog of useless crap that you should be ashamed to buy. I would love to read your comments on those items.

Unknown said...

"because you can't be trusted to use an ice cube"...never has a more fabulously sarcastic comment been written.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

Father's Day, above all other holidays, seems to inspire the wackiest, and simultaneously most useless and most expensive gift ideas. It's the American way.

Trish Ryan said...

Hysterical. But it makes me wonder if this might be the exact thing my dad needs to inspire him to GET a computer? He's practical that way...

robin ann mcintosh said...

were you reading sky mall?? because that sounds like a sky mall gift.

I was on an airplane yesterday and I found two great gifts: marshmallow gun and a bug lamp (electrocutes bugs).

Season said...

My stepdad always wants these "collector" trucks for Father's Day and his birthday... they just get put in a closet... maybe he would actually use this coaster, hmmmm.

Allie said...

Are you kidding?!?! That's such a cool present! :)

Barrie said...

I don't think it's a good idea to have beverages too close to a computer. In family, they get spilled. With disastrous results. And a drink ATTACHED to the computer with a cord?! That's just lunacy.

Anonymous said...

Love this post! And now I'll have to go get him an ice cube tray and just let him be confused...