Thursday, August 07, 2008

My new super power

I have a new super power. This is in addition to my regular super power of extreme awesomeosity & my ability to unabashedly say words that aren't really words. It was suggested to me a few days ago that I hem my jeans. I act tall, but I'm really 5'4". I protested that everyone wears their jeans too long. Then it was brought up that I am 26 now. Apparently, this is vastly different from 25. Apparently my "I'm not listening" t-shirt & "Go away" hoodie just won't cut it anymore. Although I'll hold onto my "This is my Saturday shirt" just because I'm the only person who has found that funny EVER. So I looked around to see what 26 was supposed to look like & I saw a whole bunch of Utah Hair.

Then I remembered my desire to wear a dress with a large circumference. This was what Oprah would call my Aha moment. That's it! I will be weird vintage girl. I'll just always wear something vintage inspired & carry a cigar box purse. So, I hit the stores & tried to ignore the fact that every store I went to had clothes that I could best describe as pregnant hippy & pregnant disco queen. I am none of these things. In frustration I grabbed a handful of items & headed to the dressing room. Normally, I'm a size 7-9. I tried on a skirt that fit perfectly. Then I tried on a dress that was an 11 & way too small. I tried to postpone my freak out because I had actually lost 5 lbs. not gained anything. Why did I go up a size? Then I looked over at the skirt tag & thought wow that 7 looks really funny....because it is a 1. Ok I can fit into a 1 but I can't fit into something 10 sizes bigger? So I drew the natural conclusion. I obviously have some sort of new super power that confounds standard dress sizes. I was going to put a bullet pointed list of ways my new super power will come in handy but I couldn't come up with anything. So dear readers, here are some blank bullet points help me out.









7 comments:

~Virginia~ said...

gah! the pressure!

um, um.

if you ever see something on sale, but isn't in your "size", you could always confuse it so that it'll think it's your size...hence, therefore, and subsequently it will fit! and at half the price! :)

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I got nothin'. Unless you want to pull a Jerry Seinfeld and 'inadvertently' show off the size on all your clothes...

You'll be (even more) the Woman of Mystery.

Stacy said...

Well, there is something nice about defying all expectations.

A friend of mine has a shirt similar to your Saturday shirt, only hers says "This is my party shirt." I always envied her for it.

Vintage is fun.

Barrie said...

You know how it is when you go to the store because there's a huge sale? But they only have weird sizes left? Well, now, something will always fit you!

ellesappelle said...

Have I ever told you how much you make me smile? "Pregnant hippy & pregnant disco queen" --> :)

Love the new format, by the way.

Trish Ryan said...

You could be one of the challenges on Project Runway, and have the different designers try to fit you even though you transcend size...

LEstes65 said...

This (along with the monokini) just proves my point that designers in general need a good hard slap.