Thursday, October 30, 2008

At least I don't have to deal with me

Questions asked of the computer salesman:

Honestly, is this computer craptastic?

Does it go on the interweb?

If Dorothy Parker was still alive which one would she buy?

Why don't you know who Dorothy Parker is?

Is it possible to mod the computer so it looks like an old fashioned typewriter but still functions as a computer?

When a customer is really snotty do you ever go in the back & switch around all of the letters on their keyboard?

Will you take $11 for it? The economy is slow right now I defy you to find a better offer. You could buy 1100 pieces of penny candy with that.

Will a wider screen make me look thinner?

Is vista really as bad as they say? I mean Mac's only advertising campaign for the past x number of years has been "We're not vista." (Just so you know, it really is craptastic. I'd have better luck if I yelled "WORD PROCESS" at a can of alphabet soup.)

I ended up buying a computer because it was pink even though I don't like pink. It's a reflex from having four brothers. That way they won't steal my stuff.

Questions asked of the car salesman:

Any chance that hover cars will be invented in the next three years?

Do you have any cars that are super cute?

What would a ninja drive?

With high gas prices do you think we'll go back to the Flintstones foot pedals?

Ohh Malibu as in Barbie's Malibu dream car?

Will you take $11 for it? The economy is slow right now I defy you to find a better offer. You could buy 1100 pieces of penny candy with that.

Sometimes it's hard to be me, but at least I don't have to deal with me.

7 comments:

Barrie said...

You may have been the talk of the water cooler! Actually, if you ever do stand-up comedy, please let me know so I can buy tickets.

Packsaddle said...

A Ninja would probably drive this, unless it was raining, then he would probably switch to this instead.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

What'd that car salesman have to say about the hover cars???

I have a feeling you're one of those people who is always 'on'. I'm terribly envious, being mostly 'off' myself.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

And for the record, I can see you in either of those Ninja-mobiles.

~Virginia~ said...

i feel like singing that "did you ever know that you're my hero" song by bette midler... :)

ellesappelle said...

No, no, no - I predict it is not hard to deal with you at all. That blog post brightened my day immeasurably so it must have done that to an even bigger extent for those salespeople!

Barrie said...

Still giggling at your review of Vista:I'd have better luck if I yelled "WORD PROCESS" at a can of alphabet soup.

Hurry up and do another post, please. I need a sarakastic pick-me-up.