Sunday, September 28, 2008

Wherever you go, there's Ikea

I think the biggest advantage to holding out for a boyfriend that is a ninja, is that someday my man will be able to break coffee tables. The other day I thought "Hmm, I wonder what furniture looks like in other countries?" I thought for sure that you'd be able to buy a Chinese wedding bed in China or a French Provincial table in France. So I headed to craigslist & looked up different areas. I also found out that the word IKEA is the same in every language. IKEA has basically taken over the entire world & here is proof:

1. If you want a cute Ikea sofa in Beijin it's going to cost CNY200.

2. If you're decorating in Paris you can find an IKEA coffee table for 25 euros.

3. Ironically, in countries where you'd expect to find actual Swedish modern furniture like Sweden an Ikea futon will run you dkk250.

I've only ventured into an IKEA store once. Somewhere between the ektorps & the poangs I saw a woman who would look beautiful/normal/confident in any other circumstance. She was standing in the middle of the aisle openly weeping. Her fiancee/husband/boyfriend was trying to console her. The really disturbing part is that no one looked at her, or seemed to think it was out of the ordinary. She did not try to hide her tears. I can only guess this is because it occurs hourly at the store.

Yes, IKEA is cheap. Until you think about the fact that you are paying $700 for compressed sawdust. I envision my dream man walking into living rooms & karate chopping particle board coffee tables in half with one quick motion. A girl can only dream.

Also, they've finally posted a video featuring Tom Hanks' old lady glasses.


Barrie said...

Good luck with finding a ninja boyfriend. Not only will he be good at chopping coffee tables in half, he could chop ANYTHING in half. Like frozen meat. I would love to live with someone who could chop frozen meat in half. I'd never defrost again.!

Have you ever tasted the orange chocolate at IKEA? To die for.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

Wow! Those glasses are just oddly out of place. Much like the overly knotted 'pine' furniture of Ikea. With a ninja around, you'd have to keep a couple of backup coffee tables boxed up in a closet, ready to be assembled a moment's notice.

Trish Ryan said...

A friend of mine calls IKEA the place relationships go to die: it's filled with women aloft with possibility or drowning in disappointment, and men who don't get why they're there in the first place.

That said, I wonder if Tom might look there for some better glasses...

LEstes65 said...

Us po' people luvs us some compressed saw dust. Because they make it so priddy! I'd buy almost anything if they make it functional AND priddy.