You know those people who look deflated & slightly gray? They tend to say "that's life" a lot. I call them grown ups. I've always refused to become one. Yes, bad things happen. However, I will not let go of my hopes & dreams ie being the princess of Canada & marrying Adam Brody.
Last year, I was doing ok, still celebrating Abba Jabba. I figured if I'd held out until I was 26, I would naturally keep going. I always envisioned myself as a carefree person who at some point would take up tai chi & when I'm 75 I will have pretty white hair not gray hair. I don't know if the tai chi helps with that. I would wear flowing robes & tell inappropriate stories from my youth like Miss Patti from Gilmore Girls.
Then this morning as I was eating my healthy non captain crunch grown up cereal, I saw a bug in it. Then I screamed. Maybe I ran away & refused to go into the kitchen again....ever. This was at 5:30, in the morning time, before the sun is even awake. I skipped breakfast, avoided the cooking room & went to work, childhood spirit still intact. On the way home, I got a flat tire. My very first flat tire. At this moment I realized that I was waking up at 5:30 in the morning to pay for cereal with bugs in it & flat tires so that I could drive to my job at 5:30 in the morning & so on & so forth. I felt very grown up in that moment. Somewhere an angel cried.
I have not yet begun to fight. I will switch back to Captain Crunch. I will keep wearing my hoodie with skulls on it even though apparently it's inappropriate for a 26 year old. I will wear tiaras. I will refer to really good food as "It tastes like an angel pooped in my mouth", no matter where I am or who I'm with. I will exemplify awesomeosity.
& Somehow this dog was swimming in a marina in Florida when it was attacked by a shark. The owner of the dog jumped into the water & then kept punching the shark until the shark released the dog. Maybe this man is single. I would always introduce him as "This is my boyfriend, he punches sharks."