Friday, November 14, 2008

If life were an old timey movie...

1. I wouldn't have to worry that my fake eyelashes would come half way off & trail down my face. That is if I wore fake eyelashes, which I don't because I'm afraid they will come half way off and trail down my face. Plus, there's the possibility that I'll glue my eye shut.

2. Dashing young men wouldn't fart on dates & then laugh.

3. No more of those horrid croc shoes to look at.

4. I would not get asked out on voicemail. If I didn't answer the phone there's probably a reason why.

5. Furniture that isn't made out of saw dust.

6. My hairdresser wouldn't have made me look like Bonnie Hunt when I wanted to look like Kat Von D.

7. I wouldn't know who Kat Von D is.

7. LOL OMG WTF would not be considered an actual conversation.

8. If you were a size two someone would start a relief organization on your behalf.

9. Finally an excuse to wear one of these:

10. I wouldn't have seen a bride on a reality show proudly pronounce after her pastor "I D Wed"

11. I never EVER would've seen the bride on My Big Redneck Wedding tell about how her fiance proposed by peeing "will you marry me?" in the snow. Had that happened back then they would've at least had the decency to keep that delightful story to themselves.

I'm probably just being nostalgic. On the down side I would have to ration sugar & people would be shocked if/when I said craptastic. Not to mention the fact that there would be even more pressure to "just get married already." Just once I want to walk down a spiral staircase in slow motion.


Barrie said...

Oh wow. I'm the first to comment! Nice to see you feeling so nostalgic!!

Allie said...

Ohhh, that hat is beautiful!
Congratulations, you have successfully made me wish I lived in one of those movies.
(Did that really happen on My Big Redneck Wedding?!?! That's one reality show I'm glad I have never seen.)

Packsaddle said...

Nothing says "I Love You" like the discharge of urine upon a fresh blanket of snow.

Anonymous said...

Furniture that isn't made of sawdust had me all dreamy and thinking of nice, heavy wood tables and homey furniture...and then all my daydreaming was cut short and shattered by that whole pee in the snow proposal. Because that? Is so super dissgustingly nasty. Ew.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

Amen on the Crocs! I seriously thought I was the last hold-out. So glad to have company.

You've made me want to watch a Cary Grant movie.

~Virginia~ said...

every once in a while, i turn on the "classics" movie channel. there's something about black & white TV that soothes me.

heidikins said...

These are awesome....particularly the snow-pee incident.