By far the post that gets the most search engine traffic on my blog is the post where I reveal how I answer commands to "just get married". It's hard to believe that it's been over two years since I wrote that and that it's only gotten worse. Now I get a lot of "I don't see why no one would marry you." (Yes, being single and 27 in Utah is that big of a deal that virtual strangers will impart such advice.) Most of the time it doesn't bother me. I love my life and my freedom and not dealing with jerks on a daily basis.
It's worse around the holidays when I get to peer into the best parts of couple-dom at holiday parties and social gatherings. It's compounded by the fact that this guy felt the need to call and tell me that he was dating a Russian girl who is better than me in every way. In a way it was reaffirming because I didn't feel jealously as much as I just felt disinterested. I don't know why exes always make those "I'm just calling out of the blue to tell you that you suck" phone calls. Plus, I was just trying to put together a shoe rack by myself and I don't care what the box says it's impossible. Life is never lonelier than when you are trying to assemble a shoe rack.
This has prompted a thorough retrospective of "Did I miss the one? Was he there and I discounted him over something stupid?" Sure half of me can logically say that I haven't met the one otherwise I'd be with him. Yet the tiniest sliver of me worries that maybe parking in dark allies so my date can hide his car from the repo man isn't such a big deal. There are some cases that are clear cut. I still felt that I did the right thing by leaving when a perfectly normal looking guy who appeared very well read divulged that he had a swastika tattoo but that it didn't mean anything. (Also known as the time I accidentally dated a nazi or possibly a neo nazi. I didn't stop to ask.) Then there's the iffy cases like was I wrong to make a big deal out of a guy eating baby squid even though I'm fine with calamari, these were babies?
The final analysis came up favorable. I strive to be surrounded by comfort and beauty and peace. I scratched the interior of my car hauling a 100+ year old dresser home because it was pretty and not haunted. I carefully calculate who my friends will be by the number of Arrested Development and ninja references they make and how much they resemble a Gilmore Girls character. I drive 10 minutes out of the way to go to a Chinese dollar store because they sell generic Windex that says on the bottle "Totally Awesome Window Clean". Why then would I settle on the biggest choice in my life that will decide my future in almost every aspect? The next time someone asks why I didn't get married I'll just reply confidently that I haven't met anyone amazing enough...yet.